Maybe She has Forgotten Who She Is…


May I ask you a question?

Okay, here it is:

What do Consciousness, Compassion, and Crabs have to do with each other?

Think you know? 


Okay. Well, allow me to share something with you. 

Some of my absolute favorite food in the WHOOOOOLE wide world is shellfish.





And my absolute, all-time favorite of all, in all the galaxies of the entire Universe,


Specifically, Snow Crab.

Crabs are some of my Mom’s favorite too and I remember, growing up, how much of a “Crab Snob” my Mom was.

She would only purchase and eat the HIGHEST quality of crabs she could find. None of that frozen restaurant crap. 

No…my Mom could SMELL, not even have to taste, but she could SMELL the difference…

And because my Mom had such high standards for crabs, we rarely made us boiled crabs.

Oh…,but when she DID, 

They BEYOND delicious and it was always an absolutely amazing experience.

One of my favorite things to do, whenever my Mom brought the live crabs home, was to watch how frantically they would try to escape from the cooler.

Climbing on top of each other, snapping on each other, suffocating and crushing the other crabs in a desperate attempt to escape from that big, huge, plastic white cooler.

Some of them would die in the battle…My Mom wouldn’t boil those. We had to throw the dead ones away.

I remember being fascinated by this “crab escape behavior.” I remember asking questions like

“Why are they doing that to each other?” or,

“Don’t they know that if they all work together, they could form a tower and all the crabs, except the last one, could get out of this cooler? And then when the last one was left, they could all form a chain and help pull the last one out?”

Aaahhh, the Beautiful innocence and ignorance of youth. Trying to make sense of the world by imposing human attributes on that which is

Not human.

And still, I wondered…

Fast forward into adulthood, when I begin to hear the stories and analogies of this so-called “Crabs-in-a-bucket” Syndrome. I believed it and I believed IN it. 

It made so much sense.

People were always trying to keep other people down. Always willing to crush and climb and suffocate and kill the next person, just so they could come out on top. It was true. It had to be true. And it was ESPECIALLY true, when it came to Black people.

I accepted it. I bought into. I believed it, until,

I looked it up.

Yes. One afternoon, after a heated argument on Facebook in one of “Those Kind” of Facebook groups (if you know what I am speaking of, you know exactly what I mean), I knew I was sick and tired of 2 things:

Social Media Thumb Wars and

Living in this constant state of paranoia that made me feel like everyone was trying to take advantage of me and use me and that I could trust no one and on and on and on and on…because I was afraid of


So, being the Nerd that I am, I said

“Let me see if there is some physiological reason why crabs pull each other down when they are in buckets. If I can do that, maybe I can understand differently…”

So, I go through my arsenal of textbooks and publications and science websites and


There was the answer.

You see, what I discovered is that when a crab is taken out of it’s natural environment, a series of chemical reactions occur that lead to toxicity of it’s nervous system. This causes a series of neurological “mis-firings”, if you will, resulting in continuous, involuntary movements.

In other words, when you remove the crab from it’s natural environment and drop it into a foreign environment, such as a cooler or a bucket, the excess oxygen becomes so toxic to the crab’s nervous system that it loses it’s ability to control it’s own body.

So, when you see, what appears to be, this frantic, purposeful, spiteful, vindictive, “escape behavior,” what you are actually witnessing is an entire bucket full of crabs “freaking out” from being removed from their ideal environment.


What would happen if when another person wronged you, or sidestepped you for a promotion, or threw you under the bus, or said something derogatory about your business to try to get your customers, or told your Beloved one of your deepest, darkest secrets about something you did before you were in Union, instead of believing that this person was “out to get you” or “trying to bring you down”

You thought to yourself,

“Hmmm… Maybe she has lost who she is. She doesn’t remember. And because she can not remember, she is frantically trying to find her place…”

Feel into that Sis.

This is not about “letting her off the hook” for what she did.

This is about securing your station as the Goddess and the Queen you are by refusing to see yourself as a victim of someone else’s behavior.

This is about understanding that when people lose all sense of who they are, they may, sometimes, behave in ways that may AFFECT you, but do not CONTROL you or your destiny.

The only way to truly feel into this, to understand this, and to integrate this is to tap into your Divine ability to be compassionate and to remain compassionate

And you simply CAN NOT do this, if you see yourself as The Victimized Victim.

🧜🏾‍♀️I Love You, Sis😘



Want to go deeper? We can…

Schedule your Fire Coaching Session with me today.

Heeeey Sis!

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